A Moment of Reflection

Courtesy of the World Wide Web

Yesterday I was delighted to have experienced one of the most inspiring founding board retreats I had ever been a part of. We stretched our imaginations and dreamed infinitely about where we could see this organization in 10 years and what its impact would be on communities all over the world. But before we could even look 10 years ahead for the organization, I was posed with a challenge by a fellow board member to reflect on my own life, not looking ahead but looking back at the past 10 years.

When someone asks to you to look back on the last 10 years of your life, it can be a bit daunting. But as this question began to settle itself in my mind and I allowed it to be digested for thought, it turned out to be a revealing and enriching process. At first it felt like watching a movie or film reel of short images that flickered onto screen; memories of all sorts - ones full of laughter, passion, joy, pride, humility, pain, heartache, forgiveness. But as I continued to look deeper, I realized how much I had grown and learned, good and bad and I realized how grateful I felt for having had those experiences happen to/for/by me over the past 10 years.

For many of us, we may look back on our last 10 years and say that we feel pretty good about what we've done and how we've gotten to where we are today. For others, looking back might remind us of how much more we have to go because we're not where we expected to be. Or perhaps we fear looking back only reminds us that we're getting old and we're determined to somehow be that one person who miraculously finally figures out how to stop time.

I'm an avid believer in living in the moment but I also think there is so much value to gifting ourselves the time to reflect. Without it, you wind up at the end of the road with no idea how the heck you got there with no markers, milestones or memories. Reflection affords us the ability to find quiet and peace from the noise around us, to celebrate successes, and to process life changes. Most importantly, reflection provides us with the inner guidance, wisdom, and clarity we need in order to ensure our next life experience is rich and meaningful.

But don't be fooled to believe that reflection is the same as allowing the past to paralyze you from moving forward. There is nothing that frustrates me more than meeting a person who excuses themselves from being a person of greatness because unfortunate or painful situations happened to them in their past. The present, let alone the past does not predict your future. Learn your lessons through reflection and move on so you can get to the real business of the day, which is to answer the question, how do I live the best version of myself today?

Off the rack to off the hook...with heart.

Courtesy of the Uniform Project

This week I write, inspired by two serendipitous moments which transpired over the course of the last few weeks. It started out with a fabulous coffee date with one of my favorite stylists-turned-fashion designer and friend, Simeon Dacumos. During our conversation, he mentioned an amazing project that raised money for charities using fashion as a mode to communicate their social change message. How brilliant, I thought! A few days later, my Lucky magazine issue arrived and there it was again! There was no denying that I had to let the world (or at least my blog world) know about this project.

Enter: The Uniform Project.

The story is truly told best in their own words from www.uniformproject.com:

"The Uniform Project™ started in 2009 when a young woman realized she was drowning in the doldrums of an advertising career. To counter the uninspired demands of the corporate world, she came up with an unusual creative challenge; to wear the same dress for an entire year – but, and this is where the real challenge came in, she'd have to make it look unique every single day and do so without buying anything new. The challenge was also designed to be an online fundraiser, raising money to send underprivileged kids to school.

Thus, in May 2009, with fashion as her medium, and education her cause, U.P founder Sheena Matheiken launched the Uniform Project, pledging to wear one little black dress for 365 days as an exercise in sustainability and a fundraiser to support the Akanksha Foundation – a non-profit organization providing education to children living in Indian slums. And for the next year, Sheena reinvented her uniform solely using accessories that were either vintage, handmade, reused or donated."

So what did we learn from Sheena? We learn that fashion:

1) doesn't have to cost a lot and can be recycled or reused. Vintage is chic, ya know! Good for the piggy bank AND good for the planet!

2) can literally be worn 365 different ways with one basic LBD.

3) accessories really can be your friend. Jewelry, belts, hats, shoes, bags are great pieces to have to help accentuate and enliven any outfit. Just be sure to keep it organized so you know what you have so you can use it. But remember Coco Chanel's saying about accessories...in case you forgot already, refer to last week's blog post. ;)

4) can be glamorous but at the end of the day, the most admired accessory any woman can wear isn't a ring with the most bling or the bag with the most bucks, it's compassion and kindness.Women like Jackie O, Audrey Hepburn and Princess Diana were admired not just because they dressed well but because they had heart. And heart outlasts any fashion trend, any season.

It's timeless.

Falling Into This Season's Fashion Trends

Courtesy of Michael Kors

A big part of delivering your message, meeting your goals and reaching your dreams, is about showing up looking presentable! No one wins a bid, gets seed funding or clutches an interview for your dream job wearing a potato sack. And contrary to belief that most men and women in the Silicon Valley don't know how to dress; (READ: company logo wear is NOT a style!!) even our most challenged know to show up to an interview wearing clean socks and a business professional jacket. So this week, rather than give you my usual motivational tidbits to kick off your Monday morning, I'm sharing with you my five favorite fall trends for this season.

1) Camel - Specifically a camel boyfriend jacket. It's my latest obsession for fall. The boyfriend jacket has become such a staple in every stylish gal's closet and can be worn for work or play. Changing up the color from the usual black to camel makes for a classic, clean fall look that will get you through the winter. Mix it up with a black and white outfit like Michael Kors did in his show (refer to photo) or go head to toe (H2T) in winter whites and you'll look so chic!

2) Gray Tones - Wearing gray H2T can look fab or drab depending on how you pair your pieces and mix up the tones. Wear a one note and you'll look like one lonely stormy cloud. But mix up the tones and throw in a small punch of color - or wear a crisp white shirt, if you prefer to play it safe - and you'll look put together and ready to power play.

3) Separates - The dress is certainly not dead but it has definitely made some fashionistas lazy with wardrobe creativity! Yes, it's easy to mindlessly throw on a dress and head out the door but for many reasons along with the obvious like colder weather, the dress can take a rest. Instead, go for a pair of well tailored slacks with a smart top (possibly with that camel jacket) and you're ready to go!

4) Boots - Every girl's favorite fall accessory are boots. And there are plenty of them this season in all different heights, shapes and sizes. When all else fails when you're getting dressed, you know you can always resort to wearing a great pair of boots to jazz up your outfit and add a little sex appeal to your look. And no matter what anyone says to you or what fashion magazines you read, according to my philosophy of style, the kitten heel was never in...in order to be back! Wear a heel or wear a flat but what the heck is a kitten heel, especially with a dress or skirt?! Unless you have modelesque legs and stand 5'10", you'll make yourself look like you have tree trunks for legs. Don't do it. BUT if you just cannot help yourself, hide them under those lovely pair of slacks I mentioned earlier. God forbid I see you on the street in a skirt and kitten heels! I'll give you the evil eye and a ticket for a major fashion offense.

5) Minimalism - Coco Chanel tells us that before we leave the house, we should look at all the accessories we're wearing and take one off. Rachel Zoe would tell you to pile three or five more pieces on. Well this season, give your accessories a mini vacay. Keep your jewelry simple. Let your look be about all the clean lines and quality of your clothes and forget all the jingle jangle. We don't need to know that you're coming halfway down the hall. It gives everyone way too much time to quiet down their chatter about your jangles before you arrive.

Feeling inspired to look your best this season or just feeling overwhelmed because fashion "isn't your thing"? Don't fret, my pretties! Next week, we'll take off the rack...to off the hook!

The Things We Leave Behind

Courtesy of Lisa Teling Kattenbraker, Artist

This weekend I hopped on the ferry with my cousin to the Sausalito Art Festival. It was perfect weekend weather to be outdoors at an art festival appreciating art, wine and music. Hoping to be inspired but not exactly sure what to expect, I ended up with much more than what I had bargained for. My mind reveled in the imaginations of Alvin Schnupp, Ted Gale, and Juli Adams. And I delightfully donned hats designed by Diane Harty and Kate Bishop that made me want to doll up for the Kentucky Derby. While I enjoyed the hundred or so artists at the festival, one young batik artist named Lisa Teling Kattenbraker struck me most.

One of her pieces, appropriately titled, "The Things We Leave Behind" got my mental wheels turning about all the transitions we are faced with in our lives. Whether created by our own doing or by forces beyond our control, we are presented with these scenarios whether we want to deal with them or not. In order to grow and develop, we have to be able to change. One of the many lessons to be learned in the process of change is learning to let go of things that no longer serve you well. And rather than knowingly stay in a blissful ignorant state or reverting back to days way gone by, the ambiguity that comes with change can be adventurous, exciting and decadent food for the soul. I mean, I hate to be the bearer of bad news but life doesn't work backwards no matter how much you desperately hold on to your glory days of college or how many surgeries you undergo in an attempt to stop a natural human process.

There is nothing more graceful than coming across a woman who embraces life, exactly where she is in the moment. She exudes a quiet strength and confidence that one could never fake. She knows where she's going because of where she has been and trusts that her instincts will steer her in the right direction. She can look back at the things she's left behind with fondness about the lessons she has learned, loved ones adored and lost, mistakes made and sometimes made again, just for good measure.

Whatever it may be for you that you hold on to that no longer serves you - a romantic partner who doesn't value your worth, a friend who is only there for you when it's convenient or easy, a certain lifestyle that only satisfies a status but leaves you spiritually broke, a job that doesn't challenge you, or a hometown or childhood that keeps you from being able to reinvent yourself...your time is now. There will be no next time, a better time or a maybe later that will be more suitable than today. Hiding from your future is a futile exercise in watching your life just pass you by. Moving on is inevitable and rather than treating your life as if you're running standing still, pick up a pen and start writing the next chapter of your life.

Ugly Betty may be over, but her spirit lives on!

Courtesy of ABC.com

A few months have passed since the last episode of the Ugly Betty series but I can't help but think about our beloved Betty. We watched her say her goodbyes as she made the leap from Queens to London to follow her dreams and I can't help but wonder when the last time I checked in with my own inner "Ugly Betty"? Let's face it. Despite the different paths we've traveled, some part of us can relate to her angst and the stark juxtaposition she is constantly faced with being who she is and challenged to find symmetry with her physical environment. And yet, she always finds a way to prevail in her own spunky unconventional way.

We all have defining moments in life. One of my earlier moments happened in the fourth grade. I had recently moved from Texas to California with my family with hopes of finding gold…okay, not gold-more like silicon like Silicon Valley. To say that I experienced some growing pains adjusting to our new life would be a huge understatement. While the popular girls at my school sported the latest LA Gear sneakers with matching jean jackets, I was shopping at only God knows where because we didn’t have the same financial means to be able to outfit me with the latest fashions to hit the blacktop. One of my most infamous outfits was a pair hot pink coolats and a white tee printed with one huge happy face strewn across from sleeve to sleeve in matching hot pink. While I was proud of my pink outfit, the popular girls at school were quick to call me names and laugh at my "screaming pregnant face" t-shirt. I had never felt so humiliated and hurt by their attitude towards me. They made sure I knew that I was different and I should be treated as such. But even despite the name calling, I continued rocking out in hot pink and still loved wearing my t-shirt, “screaming pregnant face” and all.

The point of the story is this: Betty taught us that sometimes bucking the trend can be a good thing. Conformity is sometimes necessary but more often than not, we lose our ability to think for ourselves and embrace our individuality when we allow ourselves to be unrealistically pressured into how we should look and act to the point where we literally don't recognize ourselves in the mirror (a la Heidi from The Hills). In a day and age when everyone claims to revel in being an individual when in reality everyone goes to the same plastic surgeon, drives the same luxury car, and carries only designer bags (or even willing to carry fakes just to fit in), you have to stop and ask yourself, am I really being true to myself? If I could share my truth, what would I say? What would Betty say about this?

My guess is Betty would say, look beyond what you can buy that will make you happy. Because once you've bought everything that can be bought, changed, rearranged, and upgraded, if you haven't spent a single second to stop and taken a deep dive into your soul, you will never be happy. The key to happiness can be very simple. Know what you're passionate about and know what you're good at. If you can marry what you're passionate about and what you're good at and do it for a cause larger than yourself, you have found happiness. This kind of happiness isn't momentary or fleeting like the superficial conformity we are all familiar with. True happiness is unique, sacred, and abundant and harmonious. Betty knew this and followed her heart all the way to London. What deep dive into your soul do you need to do in order to get to your destination?