Respect Is More Than Just A Song...



Courtesy of the World Wide Web

 Aretha Franklin will be the first to tell you all about R-E-S-P-E-C-T and we will proudly sing along with her at the top our lungs, just loud enough for our neighbors to wish they could tune us out. Yet most of us will likely have a somewhat diluted insight into what it really means to respect yourself and others. So let's take a quick peek at the good ol' trusty Webster's Dictionary to find out what respect means. "To consider worthy of high regard...a high or special regard...the quality or state of being..." Synonyms include "reference, regard, appreciate, consider, admire."

I don't know about you but I'm no more clearer about what respect means by those definitions than I am about seeing my own reflection in the mud. This singular definition says respect is for those who have somehow earned a certain level of achievement or regard or only reserved for those of high profile and stature. But what about everyone else? What about everyday encounters, everyday interactions between people in the various relationships we maintain? What does respect look like in those situations?

Let me take a step back and give you some background on why this topic of respect. Recently I joined a founding board of a new nonprofit called The Respect Institute headquartered in the Silicon Valley. I gravitated towards this work for several reasons, one of which I have eluded to in a prior posting. The lengths at which children and adults will go to make others feel bad for the sake of popularity, advancement or just sport is heartwrenching and painful to encounter; both as the person being picked on and also as the bystander who wants to do something but is too afraid to step up in fear of becoming another target for the terrorizer(s). In elementary and jr high school, for years I endured being told I was ugly, flat chested, flat nosed, short, and made fun for the clothes I wore because they weren't brand names. Some days I would open my backpack to find the remains of everyone's lunches from the garbage can. Another time someone stole my purse and dumped all its contents all over the girls' bathroom. Once a girl nearly drowned me in a swimming pool and laughed the entire time while I screamed bloody murder for what felt like hours before her older brother heard me and tore out of the house to pull me out. And then there were the non-stop constant crank calls at all hours of the night every night which affected my entire family.

Tell Your Truth. Know You're Valuable. Follow Your Passions. Trust Your Gut. Set Boundaries - Speak Up. Be Compassionate - Listen. Get Help. Spread Respect. These are the Respect Basics principles that The Respect Institute provides to youth, parents, educators, policymakers and organizations through their vision, tools and research. They equip individuals and organziations with the skills necessary to develop self-respect and spread respect to stop bullying, domestic violence, teen pregnancy, and discrimination and to promote healthy relationships, communication, peace and collective collaboration towards a more humane and compassionate society.

So how can you make Respect more than just a song? Make a commitment to live out and explore the Respect Basics in your own life. You can also become a Respect Ambassador and support our work by making a donation: www.therespectinstitute.org

Respect Institute's work matters because children and adults should not be treated any less than with compassion, kindness, care and respect. We need to make this a practice that occurs everyday in every interaction we have with every person we encounter, even with those who do not hold the same values or intentions we do. Hate makes our world a very ugly place but I am certain that respect and compassion will prevail.