Do You Suffer From AMGS?



Courtesy of the World Wide Web

 [enter: ambiguous voice of a prescription medication commercial]

Have you or anyone you know ever experienced any of the following symptoms?

- Made fun of strangers for their physical appearance

- Talked negatively behind a friend's back

- Played a prank on a friend in the name of humor

- Spread rumors that damaged someone's reputation

- Purposely criticized a friend to fuel their insecurities

- Demean someone's character or confidence

- Dismissed a friend's feelings

- Tormented, embarrassed or harassed a friend or stranger in public

You may also experience other symptoms such as: verbal diarhhea, inability to keep secrets, insincerity, lack of compassion and tolerance, challenges in giving others compliments, closemindedness, jealously, fear, insecurity, joy in seeing others in agony and scarcity.

If you have said yes to any of these, then you or someone you know may be suffering from AMGS - Adult Mean Girl Syndrome. It can also be known as Adult Mean Guy Syndrome, as this pyschological ailment does not discriminate between genders.

What is AMGS?

AMGS is prevalent in today's culture and can be easily found anywhere - in the workplace, among circles of friends, within families, and worst of all it is highly sensationalized in the media. From shows like the Bad Girls Club to The Housewives of 'Enter Major City Here', we see horrific displays of AMGS among women. With shows like this on the air, it's no wonder why we see so many heartbreaking stories of teen suicide due to bullying.

Let's face it, no matter how much we may think our kids can think for themselves (and many of them do), they also learn by watching what we as adults do. And if they see adults treating one another with little to no respect, guess what? They will do the same because they think if it works for us, then it must work for them.

The Cure.

Obviously there is no psychological condition called AMGS and all joking aside, women's bad behavior towards other women truly does absolutely nothing for the advancement of women in today's society. No, let's take it one step further; it does nothing for our society as a whole. If anything, it makes us look back asswards. It's disturbing that some take Darwin's concept of survival of the fittest to mean that cutting down someone's existence will make them better, if not the best, above everyone else.

So what is the cure for AMGS? Treatment and rehabilitation can include respect, kindness, compassion, empathy, humility, abundance, generosity, sincerity, tolerance, acceptance. Combatting AMGS isn't easy, but it's also not impossible. Those who know their boundaries and learn to speak up for themselves and others will not only survive AMGS but overcome it. By simply choosing not to accept AMGS in our lives, we make room to create a nurturing community of friends and family who will encourage your further development and growth.

Ugly Betty may be over, but her spirit lives on!

Courtesy of ABC.com

A few months have passed since the last episode of the Ugly Betty series but I can't help but think about our beloved Betty. We watched her say her goodbyes as she made the leap from Queens to London to follow her dreams and I can't help but wonder when the last time I checked in with my own inner "Ugly Betty"? Let's face it. Despite the different paths we've traveled, some part of us can relate to her angst and the stark juxtaposition she is constantly faced with being who she is and challenged to find symmetry with her physical environment. And yet, she always finds a way to prevail in her own spunky unconventional way.

We all have defining moments in life. One of my earlier moments happened in the fourth grade. I had recently moved from Texas to California with my family with hopes of finding gold…okay, not gold-more like silicon like Silicon Valley. To say that I experienced some growing pains adjusting to our new life would be a huge understatement. While the popular girls at my school sported the latest LA Gear sneakers with matching jean jackets, I was shopping at only God knows where because we didn’t have the same financial means to be able to outfit me with the latest fashions to hit the blacktop. One of my most infamous outfits was a pair hot pink coolats and a white tee printed with one huge happy face strewn across from sleeve to sleeve in matching hot pink. While I was proud of my pink outfit, the popular girls at school were quick to call me names and laugh at my "screaming pregnant face" t-shirt. I had never felt so humiliated and hurt by their attitude towards me. They made sure I knew that I was different and I should be treated as such. But even despite the name calling, I continued rocking out in hot pink and still loved wearing my t-shirt, “screaming pregnant face” and all.

The point of the story is this: Betty taught us that sometimes bucking the trend can be a good thing. Conformity is sometimes necessary but more often than not, we lose our ability to think for ourselves and embrace our individuality when we allow ourselves to be unrealistically pressured into how we should look and act to the point where we literally don't recognize ourselves in the mirror (a la Heidi from The Hills). In a day and age when everyone claims to revel in being an individual when in reality everyone goes to the same plastic surgeon, drives the same luxury car, and carries only designer bags (or even willing to carry fakes just to fit in), you have to stop and ask yourself, am I really being true to myself? If I could share my truth, what would I say? What would Betty say about this?

My guess is Betty would say, look beyond what you can buy that will make you happy. Because once you've bought everything that can be bought, changed, rearranged, and upgraded, if you haven't spent a single second to stop and taken a deep dive into your soul, you will never be happy. The key to happiness can be very simple. Know what you're passionate about and know what you're good at. If you can marry what you're passionate about and what you're good at and do it for a cause larger than yourself, you have found happiness. This kind of happiness isn't momentary or fleeting like the superficial conformity we are all familiar with. True happiness is unique, sacred, and abundant and harmonious. Betty knew this and followed her heart all the way to London. What deep dive into your soul do you need to do in order to get to your destination?