The Beauty of Bucket Lists

Courtesy of the World Wide Web

Most of my life I had always had the comfort of knowing what was was coming next in my life. I was very blessed to have a stable family life and much of knowing where I was going was due to the support and guidance of my parents. Because of this, I became quite skilled at planning and liked knowing what was next. Graduate high school, go to college, meet a guy in college, graduate college, marry guy from college, start first career...check. Check. Check. Check. Check. Check. Divorce guy I married from college - cheeeeeck...wait a minute. Crap. That wasn't part of the plan!

So there I was in my mid 20s, completely off my proverbial path with no plan. If you know a planner or you are one yourself, you know how unnerving it feels for a planner to be smacked in the face with this unknown reality called AMBIGUITY. Not to know what would come next was damn near frightening. As I fumbled through the first year in this place called ambiguity, frantically trying to find where the emergency exits were, I began to slowly take in this bizarre and incredibly uncomfortable position I found myself in.

Bucket lists as we all traditionally know them to be, are reserved for the time in life when we need an assessment of everything we've done or wanted to do in life before we 'kick the bucket'. But why only use it for that purpose? And why wait until then?

So I created my own list. And rather than live the linear life that I thought I wanted and what was expected of me, I began to ever so cautiously find bits of joy in the freedom of being able to design my life in any way I wanted. It was like being given a huge empty blank canvas and being told paint anything I want. And so I did. I will never forget the first time I hailed a cab in Manhattan. And learned to enjoy eating in a restaurant at a table for one. Or when I booked my first modeling job and recieved my first paycheck. Or the first day of grad school. When I saw the Effel Tower for the first time. Or when I produced my first fashion show. And ziplined in the Costa Rican rainforests.

I am now in my early 30s and though I know I'm still young in the grand scheme of things, the past few years have been overwhelmingly abundant and exhilarating. The moment I allowed myself to accept ambiguity, it freed me to explore outside the box and ask myself, what if and why not. Bucket lists aren't about endings or about where you are in terms of years left in life. It's really about creating new beginnings and starting wherever you may be. You may have experienced a great loss like a partner or a job, but realize this is not where your story ends. It's where a new one begins. So take out a piece of paper, poster board, journal or e-pad and start your own bucket list and design your future in ways you never could imagine. You will never find a more rewarding way to plan your life.

A Moment of Reflection

Courtesy of the World Wide Web

Yesterday I was delighted to have experienced one of the most inspiring founding board retreats I had ever been a part of. We stretched our imaginations and dreamed infinitely about where we could see this organization in 10 years and what its impact would be on communities all over the world. But before we could even look 10 years ahead for the organization, I was posed with a challenge by a fellow board member to reflect on my own life, not looking ahead but looking back at the past 10 years.

When someone asks to you to look back on the last 10 years of your life, it can be a bit daunting. But as this question began to settle itself in my mind and I allowed it to be digested for thought, it turned out to be a revealing and enriching process. At first it felt like watching a movie or film reel of short images that flickered onto screen; memories of all sorts - ones full of laughter, passion, joy, pride, humility, pain, heartache, forgiveness. But as I continued to look deeper, I realized how much I had grown and learned, good and bad and I realized how grateful I felt for having had those experiences happen to/for/by me over the past 10 years.

For many of us, we may look back on our last 10 years and say that we feel pretty good about what we've done and how we've gotten to where we are today. For others, looking back might remind us of how much more we have to go because we're not where we expected to be. Or perhaps we fear looking back only reminds us that we're getting old and we're determined to somehow be that one person who miraculously finally figures out how to stop time.

I'm an avid believer in living in the moment but I also think there is so much value to gifting ourselves the time to reflect. Without it, you wind up at the end of the road with no idea how the heck you got there with no markers, milestones or memories. Reflection affords us the ability to find quiet and peace from the noise around us, to celebrate successes, and to process life changes. Most importantly, reflection provides us with the inner guidance, wisdom, and clarity we need in order to ensure our next life experience is rich and meaningful.

But don't be fooled to believe that reflection is the same as allowing the past to paralyze you from moving forward. There is nothing that frustrates me more than meeting a person who excuses themselves from being a person of greatness because unfortunate or painful situations happened to them in their past. The present, let alone the past does not predict your future. Learn your lessons through reflection and move on so you can get to the real business of the day, which is to answer the question, how do I live the best version of myself today?